Or, What to Do When You’re Speechless in Second Life
It’s Friday again Dear Readers, and Lark has her nose in Everybody’s business…
Dear Lark –
The sweetest man I ever knew wooed me, loved me, and left me on Second Life. He’s ghosted me for months on SL, but he still sends messages in real life saying he loves me. I love him still and I want him back. What can I do?
Signed – Lonely AF
Dear AF –
I won’t pretend to know the full story from a single message, but I do know this: clichés stick around because they’re true. The heart wants what it wants. And yes—time heals, but it also reveals. If someone can vanish in one world and whisper love in another, ask yourself which version of him you’re holding onto. Is it the man who showed up, or the one who disappeared?
Love doesn’t live in mixed signals. It lives in presence. You deserve someone who chooses you in every realm.
Dear Lark –
I was shopping with all my girlfriends for my SL wedding when I tried on a demo of the most gorgeous bridal gown in virginal white. I twirled, I posed, I basked in the moment… for about 30 seconds. Then poof—demo expired, dress vanished, and there I was: stark naked in front of my entire posse. Worse? I’m pretty sure they caught a glimpse of an attachment I was wearing. Let’s just say my soon-to-be SL hubby has, um, adventurous tastes. Now some of the girls are acting weird. How can I get things back to normal?
Signed – Naked in Walmart
Dear Naked –
First off, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials—and your bold commitment to demos. Second, welcome to the club: SL has a way of turning shopping bliss into accidental burlesque. As for the attachment reveal? If your friends are confused, let them be. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your passions. If they ask, you can wink and say, “It’s a wedding surprise.” If they don’t, let it fade like a demo…
Dear Lark –
I’ve been so careful all these years. I told myself I’d know. It’s always obvious, right? And yet here I am—partnered to a GUY, not a girl, a guy who told me for a year that he was a woman. He made me fall in love. Then, at the worst possible moment, he had a coughing fit. And out came the basso profundo bellows that gave it all away. Then he admitted it. What do I do now?
Signed – Flabbergasted
Dear Flab –
You’ve been blindsided, and that deserves a pause. Here’s my thought; you may want to explore another side of yourself—or you may need to cut and run. Only you can make that call. But here’s a thought: love built on a lie is a house with no foundation. If you stay, make sure it’s because you see something real beneath the disguise and not because you’re still chasing the illusion. And if you leave? Leave with your head high and your radar recalibrated.
Dear Lark –
I found out my SL lover is a liar. Everything he told me was fiction: he’s not 25, his RL wife doesn’t work at People Magazine, and that photo of himself? Pretty sure it came preloaded in a dollar-store frame. Help me show him that liars finish last.
Signed – Once Bitten
Dear Bitten –
Let’s be clear: you didn’t fall for a man—you fell for a mirage. And now that the fog’s lifted, you’ve got two choices: revenge or reinvention. Revenge is tempting, sure. You could expose him, embarrass him, even send him a gift-wrapped frame with his photo inside. But here’s the real power move: log off from his lies and level up your own story.
Liars don’t finish last because we punish them. They finish last because they’re too busy pretending to ever truly connect. You, on the other hand, are real. And real always wins in the long run.
Next Friday: Lark returns to untangle the existential spaghetti of Second Life. Bring snacks. It’s gonna be a lonng day. Hey… send in questions to be answered by the all-up-in-your-business Lark…
