Welcome to Hey Roni!, the corner of the grid where opinions are loud, sarcasm is free, and no pixel is safe from a little side-eye. Every Thursday, ‘Hey Roni’ will dive headfirst into resident-submitted questions with heartfelt dilemmas and give genuine advice or get on her soapbox and share one of her infamous Roni’s Rants, nothing is off limits.
This column is written strictly for entertainment and satirical purposes. The opinions, observations, hot takes, and questionable life choices expressed by Roni are solely her own and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of SL Insider, its staff, affiliates, partners, advertisers, or anyone with common sense.
Hey Roni,
About two weeks ago, I met this woman in Second Life. We hit it off immediately. She’s funny, gorgeous, and let’s just say there have been a couple of very enjoyable “getting to know each other” sessions that definitely didn’t involve discussing the weather.
Since then, we’ve been hanging out almost every day. We’ve gone dancing, to some regular voice hangouts, played games, even chatted in discord.
Here’s the thing though…I wouldn’t consider us boyfriend and girlfriend just yet. ~We~ haven’t had that conversation. But apparently she has…. yesterday she sent me a notecard containing a list of matching usernames she wants us to switch to.
Not matching display names. Usernames. Permanent usernames. She says it would be “super cute” and that couples should have matching names so everyone knows they’re together.
Roni, I’ve had this username for twelve years. This thing survived three exes, a vampire roleplay phase, and an unfortunate period where I thought steampunk goggles looked cool with everything.
Meanwhile, I’ve known this woman for fourteen days. We’ve had two naughty weekends and shared approximately six pizzas and somehow she’s already planning for us to become Mr. and Mrs. SnuggleBunnyForever.
I don’t feel like I am overreacting here, and I really do like her, but changing usernames after two weeks feels a little…..too soon. Truthfully, I’m not even sure I ever want to change my username.
Is this normal nowadays, or is it reasonable to think maybe we should wait until we’ve at least survived our first argument over whose turn it is to water the virtual plants?
~Still Evaluating the Terms and Condition
Dear Still Evaluating,
First things first, I have a question for you, sir.
Are you genuinely interested in seeing where this relationship goes, or are you just enjoying a couple of naughty weekends and hoping to maintain a comfortable friends-with-benefits arrangement? There is nothing wrong with either one, but before you start worrying about usernames, you need to figure out what exactly you want. Because if she is already shopping for matching names while you’re still deciding whether she’s girlfriend material, you two may be reading completely different instruction manuals.
Now, on to the matter at hand: No. Matching usernames are not required to prove your love. In fact, some of the happiest couples I know in Second Life have completely different names. You are no less committed because you don’t share a surname, a username, or become “SnuggleBunnyForever1” and “SnuggleBunnyForever2.”
And frankly, if you don’t ever want to change your username, then don’t. Full stop.
You’ve had that name for twelve years. It has history. It has been through a lot with you. You are under no obligation to throw it away just because Cupid struck fourteen days ago.
That said, if you enjoy spending time with this woman and don’t want to send her running for the hills, then tell her that. Make sure she knows you like her. Tell her you enjoy hanging out with her. Reassure her that just because you’re not ready to become one-half of a matching set doesn’t mean you’re planning to ‘hit it and quit it’ next weekend.
However, at this point, you’re still learning each other’s favorite colors and whether one of you squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle like a barbarian. It is a little early to be naming your future children and deciding whose username gets custody of the family rabbit.
And speaking of rabbits…
Fair warning, dude.
Second Life relationships can move faster than a fatpack sale at Fifty Linden Friday, but this whole situation is giving me some mildly concerning vibes. Not enough to sound the air raid sirens, mind you, but enough to raise one carefully plucked eyebrow.
Take your time. Observe. See how she reacts when you tell her no. A healthy person will accept that you aren’t ready. An unhealthy person will act like you’ve just canceled Christmas.
And while I sincerely hope she’s simply enthusiastic and hopelessly romantic… Make sure she isn’t getting ready to boil the rabbit before it’s too late.
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