Welcome to Hey Roni!, the corner of the grid where opinions are loud, sarcasm is free, and no pixel is safe from a little side-eye. Every Thursday, ‘Hey Roni’ will dive headfirst into resident-submitted questions with heartfelt dilemmas and give genuine advice or get on her soapbox and share one of her infamous Roni’s Rants, nothing is off limits.
This column is written strictly for entertainment and satirical purposes. The opinions, observations, hot takes, and questionable life choices expressed by Roni are solely her own and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of SL Insider, its staff, affiliates, partners, advertisers, or anyone with common sense.
Hey Roni,
I have a question about something that happened while I was out shopping the other day.
I saw another resident wearing an outfit that I absolutely loved. She really looked amazing. So I sent her a polite IM and asked where she got a few of the items she was wearing. Well… she didn’t take it well.
She told me she wasn’t my personal shopper and that I should stop trying to copy other people’s style.
I was completely caught off guard because I wasn’t trying to copy her. I just wanted to know where she found some of those items so I could buy them for myself and wear them my own way.
After telling a friend what happened, they said I should just use one of those HUDs that lets you see what people are wearing instead of asking. But then someone else told me that’s rude too!
Now I’m totally confused.
Is it considered bad etiquette to ask someone where they got their hair, outfit, shoes, or accessories? Is using those outfit-inspection HUDs any better? Or is the polite thing to just admire someone’s look from afar and never ask?
I genuinely don’t want to offend anyone. I just love shopping and discovering new creators.
So… what’s the proper etiquette here?
~ Fashionably Confused 💕
Dear Fashionably Confused,
There was absolutely nothing wrong with asking. The fact that she got overly offended? That was a her problem.
Frankly, I feel like her response was a little hypocritical actually.
She told you she wasn’t your personal shopper… but does she think the creator is her personal designer?
In fact, most creators would probably be thrilled knowing their customers are walking advertisements. Word-of-mouth has always been one of the best ways talented designers get discovered in Second Life. Every time someone asks where you got something, that’s a compliment not only to you, but to the creator who made it.
Now, with that being said…
If you’re approaching a complete stranger, I’d suggest easing into it.
Maybe pick your favorite item they’re wearing and ask about just that one first. It feels a little less overwhelming than rattling off, “Where’d you get your hair? Outfit? Shoes? Jewelry? AO? Skin? Head?” especially if they don’t even know you.
And always –always– start with a compliment.
Don’t lead with, “Hey… where’d ya get that?”
Tell them they caught your eye. Tell them they look fabulous. People are far more receptive when they feel like they are being a trendsetter rather than if they feel like they’re about to be copied.
Who knows? That one compliment might spark a conversation. That conversation might lead to more shopping recommendations… and before you know it, you’ve made a glorious new friend.
Another little trick? – After the compliment, ask if the item comes in different colors or patterns.
Something like… “That dress is gorgeous! Do you know if it comes in blue? That burgundy looks amazing on you, but I’d probably need something that suits my coloring.”
Now you’ve subtly reassured them that your goal isn’t to recreate their exact look.
Of course, no one is obligated to share where they bought something.
Maybe they’re busy.
Maybe they honestly don’t remember.
Maybe they just aren’t the sharing type.
Me personally? I take it as a huge compliment.
I’m a girl’s girl.
I’ll tell you who made it, where to get it, hand you the landmark if I have it… heck, I might even teleport over there with you.
Of course… I’m also cocky enough to believe my style is impossible to replicate.
Because, you know…I’m the shit. 🤩💄😂
*Hair flip.*
Unfortunately, not everyone is as confident (cocky lol) as me.
Some people guard their look like it’s a family secret recipe that’s been passed down for generations.
And that’s okay too. They are allowed to say no.
Let’s just hope they do it with a little more grace than the woman you happened to ask.
Now…Let’s talk about those inspection HUDs.
Meh.
I have mixed feelings.
As someone who genuinely enjoys meeting people, I think they actually rob us of opportunities to make new friends. Walking up, giving someone a compliment, chatting about fashion… that’s part of what makes Second Life feel social.
Having a HUD quietly do all the work? It kind of skips the human part.
However…
After you politely asked someone, got your head bitten off, and they acted like you committed a fashion felony? Yeah…At that point I’d probably be tempted to use the HUD too.
I’ve also heard rumors that there are counter HUDs that notify people when someone inspects what they’re wearing.
I have absolutely no idea if that’s true.
But if it is…What’s the point?
They can’t stop the information from being seen.
So is it just there so they know someone peeked?
Or is it simply an invitation to start unnecessary drama?
Seems a little silly to me.
And a final concern… let’s address the elephant in the room.
A couple of weeks ago I answered a letter from someone whose friend was buying everything she bought and wearing it exactly the same way.
Nobody wants a clone.
Buying the same sweater? Perfectly normal.
Buying the same sweater, hair, skin, head, body, shape, jewelry, nails, AO… and then standing beside them looking like their long-lost twin? Not okay…
That’s where things start getting weird.
Your style should tell your story, not somebody else’s.
Take inspiration. For sure.
Mix it with pieces you’ve collected over the years.
Experiment.
Add your own personality. That’s what makes fashion fun.
And If someone asks where you got something…Take it as a compliment, and pay it forward.
P.S. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery… But individuality is what people remember. 💗
Got a question for Hey Roni?
Need advice, want to vent, confess your latest grid disaster, or submit a topic for Roni’s Rants? Fill out the anonymous submission form and maybe your question will be featured in an upcoming column. No names. No judgment. (Well… maybe a little judgment.)
