Dear Lark –
I fell hard in Second Life—for the first time. My fiancé and I picked a sweet little church for our SL wedding. I showed up early, buzzing with excitement. Five hours later: no groom! It’s been a week. Still no sign. What now?
Signed – Left at the Altar
Dear Left –
Ah, the bittersweet poetry of pixelated love. Most SL romances burn bright and fast—then vanish. Cherish the good bits, roast him to anyone who’ll listen, and see if you can claw back your deposit on the chapel of heartbreak.
Dear Lark –
I recently updated my avi, and now all my friends won’t hang out with me because I look SO much better than they do. How do I get them to hang around with me again?
Signed – Outcast in SL
Dear Outcast –
You could roll back your updates… but why dim your shine for people who can’t handle the glow? Honestly, it’s faster—and way less tragic—to upgrade your friend list to match your new look.
Dear Lark –
It’s Halloween in SL again. My sweet boo wants to go as Glinda the Good Witch, but I’m going as Kamala Harris and I don’t want him stealing my spotlight. What do I do?
Signed – Trick or Treater
Dear Trick –
Your boyfriend’s a cross-dresser? Well, so are the days of our Second Life. Give him a loving ultimatum: he can be Joe Biden or the Wizard of Oz, but this year, Mama’s wearing the pants—and the power pearls.
Yo Lark –
A close friend of mine always beats me when we play Greedy. I try as hard as I can, but she ALWAYS wins. What can I do to win a game, or even draw even?
Signed – A Loser
Dear Loser –
First of all, let’s retire that nickname. You’re not a loser—you’re just temporarily less lucky in the land of dice and domination. Greedy is a game of risk, reward, and just enough chaos to make you question your life choices after every roll. If your friend keeps winning, she’s a statistical anomaly or secretly channeling a Vegas pit boss. Here’s how to level the playing field: study her strategy or play the odds. If all else fails, distract her. Casually bring up her ex, her taxes, or her existential dread of aging. And when you do manage to beat her, make sure to celebrate with the subtlety of a marching band!
Dear Lark –
I’m new to Second Life, and I admit to being a little overwhelmed. What should I, as a woman, be wary of?
Signed – Very Afraid
Dear Very Afraid –
Second Life can be a playground, a gallery, a stage, or a sanctuary—depending on how you shape it. Be wary of pixel charmers, teleport traps, and anyone who says “trust me” before asking for Lindens. Style your avatar, guard your boundaries, and remember: just because it’s a virtual world doesn’t mean the weirdos aren’t real.
Come back next week when Lark Knows Best returns! Send in your SL dilemmas and vendettas and Lark will save the day.
