Lark Knows Best

It’s Halloween, Dear Readers, the high holiday of Second Life, when headless horsemen collect hearts and Grim Reapers tail you through concerts like lovesick shadows. So grab your broom, tighten your corset, and follow me into the demented void. Let’s see what our fellow ghouls are whispering about tonight.

Dear Lark –
I think some of my friends have joined a witches coven on SL… it seems they’re all missing during the full moon and they joke about brooms in a very weird way. I’ve thought about it, and I want to join. How can I get them to include me?
Signed – FOMO Broomhilda

Dear Broom –
This sounds like the most delightful kind of digital mystery! Whispers of a coven and broom references? You’re practically living inside a Halloween ghost story.

If you want to be included, lean into the magic/RP with curiosity. Next time they drop a broom reference, respond with playful enthusiasm: something like, “I’ve been polishing mine just in case. When’s the next moonlit flight?” Humor is your best choice here. Be present on the same Sims or in the same chats, and drop hints like, “I really miss the moon magic. Do I need a secret password?”

If you’re feeling bold, ask directly but lightly. A simple “Okay, I’m being dreadfully nosy, but is there a coven and can I apply?” keeps things fun and open. And if you want to signal your readiness, dress the part. A witchy hat, a sparkly aura, or a cloak that says “I’m ready to spin a hex” can go a long way.

If they’re truly gatekeeping, that’s a different spellbook. But if it’s just playful secrecy, your curiosity should be the perfect potion.

Dear Lark –

I met a really nice ghoul recently, all dressed up for Halloween. She’s beautiful and sparkly and I’m really enjoying her company on Second Life. The problem is we don’t speak the same language and I don’t know what to do.
Signed – Speechless

Dear Speechless –

You’ve met a sparkly ghoul and the only thing standing between you and a full-blown Halloween romance is a language barrier: classic Second Life drama with a twist of enchantment.

The good news is, there are several in-world translator tools that can help bridge the gap. COOL-Translator is known for working even in no-script areas and supports a wide range of languages. Q-Translator is another favorite for casual conversation, and SmartBots offers a group chat translator if you’re mingling in larger circles. Each has its own vibe, so it’s worth trying a few to see which fits your style and your ghoul’s language best.

If none of them feel quite right, you can always copy and paste into external tools like DeepL or Google Translate, but that can break the flow of conversation. Staying in-world helps to keep the magic alive.

Dear Lark –

I could use a little virtual wisdom right now.

I’m an older guy who’s been around Second Life for quite a while — A few weeks ago, I met a younger woman who absolutely swept me off my feet. We clicked fast — talking for hours, dancing, exploring together. For a brief moment, I thought I’d found something rare and genuine.

Then, out of nowhere, I discovered she was seeing someone else at the same time. When I confronted her, she said it “Don’t be mad” and that she was sorry — that she never meant to hurt me. I didn’t yell or argue; I just ended it. I blocked her, muted her messages, and went back to my quiet little corner of the grid.

She has sent a few messages, I haven’t responded — partly because I don’t trust her, and partly because I don’t trust myself.

Did I do the right thing by cutting her off completely?

Signed – Heartbroken in Second life

Dear Heartbroken –

Yes. Yes, you absolutely did the right thing. You were honest, open, and vulnerable. When that trust was broken, you responded with clarity and self-respect. Blocking and muting aren’t acts of cruelty; they are boundaries. And boundaries are what keep your heart from being a revolving door for someone who didn’t treat it with care.

The fact that you’re still wondering if you did the right thing tells me you’re thoughtful, not bitter. You’re not just protecting yourself from her, you’re protecting yourself from the part of you that might overlook red flags in the name of connection. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.

But, if you decide to respond to her, do it from a place of strength, not longing. If silence feels safer, then silence is your sanctuary.

Remember, you didn’t just walk away from her. You walked toward peace.

Dear Lark –

I’m writing with a question that’s part etiquette, part emotional damage control, and part digital modesty crisis.

Recently, a male avatar I did not know messaged me claiming I looked nearly nude…he said my mesh clothes weren’t rendering properly, or were not worn altogether. I was mortified… until I asked my friends, who all saw me fully dressed. Turns out this guy has a reputation for de-rendering mesh clothing to create these “oops” moments. But here’s the kicker: he also sent me a photo of my avatar, stripped bare by his viewer settings, as if he were doing me a favor. “Just letting you know,” he said, like a concerned citizen within our pixel realm.

I didn’t ask for that image. I didn’t want it. And I certainly didn’t appreciate the faux chivalry. My friends say it’s his way of getting attention (UGH). This is seriously some twisted courtship ritual involving mesh sabotage and unsolicited screenshots.

So, Lark, how do I protect my modesty in a world where my clothes can be digitally peeled off without consent? Is there a way to call this behavior out without causing drama or giving him the attention he clearly craves? I want to stay graceful, but I also want to feel safe. And clothed.

Signed – MinJi the Modest

Dear MinJi –
We all want Second Life to feel safe, and most of the time it does. But the unsettling truth? Nowhere online is truly secure. With AI deepfakes multiplying like weeds, we’ve got to stay sharp in this invasive new era. With that being said, you’ve just described one of the creepiest pick-up tactics I’ve ever heard: sabotage masquerading as gallantry. Let’s call it what it is: demeaning, boundary-crossing behavior dressed up as “helpfulness.”

You didn’t ask for his opinion. You didn’t ask for his screenshot. And you certainly didn’t ask to be part of his little “oops, you’re naked” fantasy. This isn’t polite helpfulness, it’s a violation of digital consent.

Here’s how to stay graceful and safest:

 Block and report. Second Life has abuse reporting tools. Sending unsolicited images of your avatar, especially manipulated ones, is not harmless. It’s harassment. You’re not causing drama by using the tools designed to protect you.

Don’t engage. Responding gives him the attention he’s fishing for. Silence is not weakness; it’s strategy. Let your friends know what happened so they can support you and warn others if needed.

Layer up smartly. Consider wearing alpha layers or system clothing beneath mesh outfits. It’s not foolproof, but it can help reduce how much is revealed if someone tries to de-render your mesh.

Call him out. If you’re part of a group or community, you might share a general PSA about mesh rendering tricks without naming names. That way, you raise awareness without feeding his ego.

You deserve to feel safest in your digital skin. And anyone who tries to strip that away, literally or figuratively, doesn’t deserve anything from you at all.

Join us next week, Dear Readers, as we barrel into the holiday season. Whether you’re buried in gift wrap, juggling party invites, or side-eyeing your credit card bill, we’ve got your back. Tune in next Friday for a dose of stress relief, fun and sanity.