“Too Old”, A song for the Aged and the Sleepy

by Larkbird Parx, lyrics, and MinJi Onyx, music

I’ve been in Second Life as Larkbird Parx for 18 years. Some days I feel like a noobie; other days, like I’ve lived every moment of those years. I still wake up with plans for my SL day; it keeps me sane, steady, and creatively lit in ways no other hobby ever has.

Larkbird’s worn many skins, danced through many moods, but her core style and substance are still intact. One thing that has shifted, though, is my attitude toward online sex.

Lark started out lusty, a lady of fire and flirtation, chasing romance and the juicy aftermath. For a decade, I reveled in love and desire of the pixel kind. But eventually, I realized it wasn’t the poseballs that moved me, it was the connection. The relationship. The spark of shared story.

So I pivoted. I stopped chasing romance and started cultivating friendship. Now I’ve got a small, cherished circle of people who, outside of my real-life family, mean the most to me in this digital world.

This song came from a quiet truth: even if I fell deeply in Second Life love again, I wouldn’t want an affair. I know myself. At this age, pixel sex feels hollow; lacking the emotional depth and reality I crave. With age comes clarity, and clarity sounds like I’m ‘Too Old’ for this **** .

Many thanks to the incomparable MinJi Onyx for creating the music so perfectly for these lyrics.

A song with lyrics by Larkbird Parx, music by MinJi Onyx

LYRICS:

When my avi was new,
Back in 20-oh-7
True, I was a noob
But I was in heaven

There were men everywhere
Men for the taking
Didn’t have to be sweet
Didn’t have to do the baking

Or cooking or cleaning,
‘Cuz I had the look
With a gleam in my eye
Wrote their name in my book

And off to the poseballs
Like runners, we’d fly
Love seat or kitchen
Or bed in the sky

Chairs, tables and walls
Bathtubs, toilet stalls
Park benches and porch swings
Would tug at my heartstrings

And make me say Yes!
To each boyfriend’s attack
They’d kiss me and then
Put their dongs through my back

Now a man at my door?
The thought makes me wince
The poseballs are gone
I did not meet a prince

Chorus:

Now I’m too old for passion and bumping in the night
My avi is still dancing but I’ve lost my appetite
I’ll let you noobies chase romance in your pixel bed
I’d rather log off early and read a book instead

I kissed many a frog
To find a deep love
With burning desire
To fit like a glove

Now the lust has faded
As I’ve become jaded
I find it degrading
But my doubts are cascading
My thoughts serenading
My mind its invading
my heart is persuading
My account needs upgrading…

Chorus:

Now I’m too old for passion and bumping in the night
My avi is still dancing but I’ve lost my appetite
I’ll let you noobies chase romance in your pixel bed
I’d rather log off early and read a book instead