Funky Catfina ~ SL Parody Project

We’ve all been there. Whether you are a guy or a girl in Second Life, someone you met has presented themselves as something they are not. I do say all the time, “you do you, I’ll do me…” Play SL how you want to play it, but voice verify 1st!!! LOL

This song is available for down and limited use within Second Life, DJ, Singers and more. All Rights Reserved, Copyright 2025

Just to clarify… I don’t sing (least not well enough to perform). I don’t play any instruments (God knows I’ve tried to learn), although have been composing and editing music and videos for decades.

LYRICS

[INTRO]
Yo yo yo… (uh-huh)
Grid boys gather up…
This one’s for every avatar who thought he scored big…
Then got hit with that deep-voice surprise. (background singer softly: “Catfiiinaaa…”)
Yeah… that funky cold… Catfina.

[VERSE 1]
Hit the club feelin’ smooth, got my mesh on blast, AO swingin’ left-right, movin’ clean and fast.

Saw a thick lil’ snack sittin’ close at the bar,
Shape dialed perfect, glow bright like a star.
(background singer: “Look at her… she fine…”)

I said, “Damn girl you hot,” she typed, “Come through,”

We danced all night, bodies stuck like glue. I said, “Let’s TP home, girl, change the arena…”

She clicked on voice… (bass drop) (background singer: “Oh no… Catfina…”)

BRO… That was Funky Cold Catfina.

[CHORUS]
Every time I’m rollin’ in the club thinkin’
I’m the main arena, (background singer echoing: “Main arenaaa…”)

I get caught by a queen… who’s secretly a dude named Tina. (background singer: “Teeeee-na…”)

The grid keeps playin’ me hard like some wicked hyena…
That funky… cold… Catfina. (background singer: “Catfina… so funky…”)

Yeah, that funky cold Catfina.

[VERSE 2]
Next night I said, “Nope, not fallin’ again,”
Checkin’ profiles deep like a scanner’s best friend.

Saw a bad-lookin’ avatar movin’ slick on the floor, AO smooth like butter on a hardwood door. (background singer: “Butter smooth…”)

She said, “Come to my skybox,” so I hit that TP, Landing on plush rugs lookin’ luxury.
Then she hit voice low… like a gravel road screamer… (background singer whisper: “Baaaaa-by no…”)

BRO… Another Funky Cold Catfina.

[CHORUS]
Every time I’m rollin’ in the club thinkin’
I’m the main arena, (background singer: “He the main arenaaa…”)
I get caught by a queen… who’s secretly a dude named Tina. (background singer: “That’s Tinaaaa…”)

The grid keeps clownin’ me hard like some wicked hyena…
That funky… cold… Catfina. (background singer: “So cold… Catfina…”)
Yeah, that funky cold Catfina.

[BRIDGE]
I’m not hatin’, man, but this grid’s pure chaos, (background singer: “Chaotic love…”)
These avatars play games like a roleplay boss.
I said, “Voice first next time,” they said, “Boy don’t start,” (background singer: “Don’t start… don’t start…”)

Then one clicked voice deep like a broken cantina… And boom… (background singer: “Catfiiinaaa…”)
Hit again by Funky Cold Catfina.

[VERSE 3]
Now I’m sittin’ on my couch like, “Man I’m cursed,”
But I still hit clubs, because hey, I’ve seen worse. (background singer: “You always come back…”)
Rockin’ fresh mesh fit with a flex so mean,
Lookin’ like I spawned from a spotlight beam.
Saw a hottie by the DJ, glow tight, AO lean, Movin’ like a dream in a nightclub scene.

She said, “Hey cutie, come dance with me,” I said, “Yeah girl… but voice check free?” (background singer teasing: “Check her voice… check her voi-i-ice…”)

She clicked that mic… sweet as a ballerina, (background singer: “She real… she real…”)
No trace of Catfina.

[FINAL CHORUS]
Every time I’m rollin’ in the club thinkin’ I’m the main arena, (background singer: “Main arenaaa…”)
I get caught by a queen… who’s secretly a dude named Tina. (background singer: “Teeeee-na…”)

But tonight I broke free from the Catfina schema… (background singer: “No Catfinaaa…”)
No funky… cold… Catfina.

Not this time, funky cold Catfina. (background singer: “You free tonight…”)

[RAP OUTRO]
Yo ladies of the grid, if you real tonight, Flip your mic on early, keep it honest, keep it right. (background singer: “Keep it real…”)

’Cause my trust bar’s low like a prim in the floor,
Got Catfina’d so many times I don’t flirt no more. (background singer: “Maybe a little…”)
But if you smooth and legit with a queen-like gleam,
Come dance with me tight in this pixel dream.

Just promise one thing before you make me lean… (background singer: “Say it… say it…”)

When you hit that mic…
Don’t be a damn Catfina. (background singer: “No Catfinaaa…”)